A few days ago I saw my rheumatologist for bone scan results, expecting to be told there were things up with some of my joints, and maybe be prescribed a new anti-inflammatory, as the last two hadn’t made much difference. What I ended up finding out was that I’ve got a few things up with my joints/bones, but what’s probably been causing my increasingly numerous symptoms these last six months is the fact I have fibromyalgia.
I wasn’t completely blind-sided by this, since I’d looked up the symptoms days ago and myself, my partner, and the friend I complain about my symptoms to all agreed that sounded exactly like what was happening to me. One site in particular made at least part of me pretty certain, as their list of symptoms when fibromyalgia is aggravated covered the rest of my symptoms. The only things holding me back from being completely certain were that I don’t know what is defined as “widespread pain”, and when I tried pressing on the “tender/trigger points” they didn’t feel any more tender than usual (I would’ve used my partner as a comparison, but his pain tolerance is very different to mine). So I thought maybe I didn’t have it, or maybe I was pressing wrong, and went back to rolling my eyes at my partner suggesting a brain tumor as the cause.
This isn’t actually a very easy question to answer.
I have a lot of illnesses at the moment that can interfere with me getting things done, and particularly with anything involving much physical labour. I also have an awful memory for chores, and even chanting my to-do list as I go doesn’t guarantee I won’t forget something.
I started out today not feeling great, and having an hour before I had to start work that I decided to spend starting a post. It was just going to be a little rant about being tired and sick, and then I got a little side-tracked.
There have been a few things lately I’ve wanted to blog about, and work had me doing some WordPress stuff so getting back to this blog and pretty-ing it up has been on my mind. I’ve made minor improvements, but I’ll need to set aside a few hour to make a custom theme some time – I just can’t find a standard theme I like more than just doing my own thing, and CSS is fun (and no, that’s not sarcasm, I’m a nerd).
[Trigger Warnings: murder, police brutality]
The first I heard about this story was a screencap of a tweet or Facebook comment that appeared to be part of a conversation about the shooting – it was someone claiming to have witnessed the shooting asserting that the victim hadn’t been committing a robbery and had been shoved by the cop with the car door. This sparked my interest, as it sounded like an unusual event, but I didn’t see any more about it until another snippet the following day. Eventually I started being able to piece together what had happened as more articles appeared about it, and I found out the victim’s name so that I could look for more.
[Trigger Warnings: murder, mentions of transphobia and misgendering]
Those are the names of the five transgender women murdered in June.
Kandy Hall, 40 (Baltimore, Maryland), Zoraida Reyes, 28 (Anaheim, California), Yaz’min Shancez, 31 (Fort Myers, Florida), Tiffany Edwards, 28 (Cincinnati, Ohio), Mia Henderson, 26 (Baltimore, Maryland).
I suck at sticking to writing quotas or writing in a journal or keeping up with a blog – I know this, but I’m always hopeful that this time I’ll stick with it, or at least get better at it. My goal for this was one post per week. I did three posts, each a week apart, and then life distracted me.
So what have I been doing that’s so distracting? Mostly lying in bed being sick and watching whatever show we’re currently on (I started this blog midway through Farscape, after that was SG-1, Star Trek Enterprise, then Digimon, but two episodes into Adventure 02 we’ve had to go back to Dragonball Z so I won’t be completely lost watching the new movie… and a few movies scattered in there, like some Resident Evil and about 5 Nightmare on Elm Streets). And a trip to the ER last week that was about as much fun as being made to wait around for 7 hours to be told they don’t know what’s wrong and to go home – OH WAIT that’s exactly what it was like.